To the me ten years from now:
How are you?
Are you feeling happy right now? Did you manage to fulfill any of your dreams?
I really hope you did. I really hope you never gave up, even though we all knew how hard it would be. Even though people kept saying that your dreams were too unrealistic, that they’d never take you anywhere.
Even if the person who said it the most was me.
Do you like anyone; did you ever end up falling in love?
No? Thank God, who knows what that would do to you.
What? Really? Who do you like now? Are you serious, it hasn’t changed in all these years? You still like that person?
Oh. That was a joke.
Did you ever finish that novel? The one that almost hit 75 thousand words? The one that simultaneously drove you insane, made you angry and frustrated, the one that also wouldn’t let you go, because it meant too much to you.
Did you ever graduate? How did you go in the AST, was your ATAR high enough to take you where you wanted to go? Did you keep smiling and acting unconcerned about it all, even though sometimes you got really scared, because the world judges too much in numbers and scores?
I hope you never gave up writing, even though it was hard for you, sometimes. I hope that you showed the world those characters that mean so much to you. I hope they cared as much about them as you did, if not more. Haha, as if. They could never care as much as you.
I hope they wanted Alissa and Heath to end up together. I hope they cried with Tim and laughed with Cassie, and felt sorry for Scott, because the nice guy always ends up alone.
I wonder if you ever found the balance between reality and the life you live in your head.
I wonder if you ever found someone who understood.
I wonder if you ever lost your faith in God, and if you did, whether you came back to Him eventually.
I wonder if you kept drawing. I wonder if you practiced more than you did in high school. I bet you still regret that you stopped drawing during those years. I bet you still think about how much better you would be right now if you had kept practicing.
Do you still play piano? Did you learn all the music Josh Agarrado transcribed, all the covers Kyle Landry made? Do you still have crushes on youtube pianists whose arms and fingers were all you ever saw, even though they were mighty good-looking arms, and you know it.
Oh, here’s what I really want to know. Was Mum right? Did you really get fat when you got older?
What friends do you have now? Are they still the same ones from before, did you lose any along the way, make new ones? Did you find people who make you feel like you belong, did you ever open up to them the way they always opened up to you?
I hope you never gave up. I hope you got through all the tough times, and became stronger than ever. I hope that we still smile the same way. I hope you are someone I won’t be ashamed to be, I hope you are someone better, that I can grow up to be a better version of myself.
I hope you get back to me one day. There’s a lot I want to ask, and I could use some advice.
Are you feeling happy right now? Did you manage to fulfill any of your dreams?
I really hope you did. I really hope you never gave up, even though we all knew how hard it would be. Even though people kept saying that your dreams were too unrealistic, that they’d never take you anywhere.
Even if the person who said it the most was me.
Do you like anyone; did you ever end up falling in love?
No? Thank God, who knows what that would do to you.
What? Really? Who do you like now? Are you serious, it hasn’t changed in all these years? You still like that person?
Oh. That was a joke.
Did you ever finish that novel? The one that almost hit 75 thousand words? The one that simultaneously drove you insane, made you angry and frustrated, the one that also wouldn’t let you go, because it meant too much to you.
Did you ever graduate? How did you go in the AST, was your ATAR high enough to take you where you wanted to go? Did you keep smiling and acting unconcerned about it all, even though sometimes you got really scared, because the world judges too much in numbers and scores?
I hope you never gave up writing, even though it was hard for you, sometimes. I hope that you showed the world those characters that mean so much to you. I hope they cared as much about them as you did, if not more. Haha, as if. They could never care as much as you.
I hope they wanted Alissa and Heath to end up together. I hope they cried with Tim and laughed with Cassie, and felt sorry for Scott, because the nice guy always ends up alone.
I wonder if you ever found the balance between reality and the life you live in your head.
I wonder if you ever found someone who understood.
I wonder if you ever lost your faith in God, and if you did, whether you came back to Him eventually.
I wonder if you kept drawing. I wonder if you practiced more than you did in high school. I bet you still regret that you stopped drawing during those years. I bet you still think about how much better you would be right now if you had kept practicing.
Do you still play piano? Did you learn all the music Josh Agarrado transcribed, all the covers Kyle Landry made? Do you still have crushes on youtube pianists whose arms and fingers were all you ever saw, even though they were mighty good-looking arms, and you know it.
Oh, here’s what I really want to know. Was Mum right? Did you really get fat when you got older?
What friends do you have now? Are they still the same ones from before, did you lose any along the way, make new ones? Did you find people who make you feel like you belong, did you ever open up to them the way they always opened up to you?
I hope you never gave up. I hope you got through all the tough times, and became stronger than ever. I hope that we still smile the same way. I hope you are someone I won’t be ashamed to be, I hope you are someone better, that I can grow up to be a better version of myself.
I hope you get back to me one day. There’s a lot I want to ask, and I could use some advice.
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