the closest thing to a map.
well, i guess i've finally caved in and gotten a blog. i guess i've considered keeping a blog for a long time now; i was always a little jealous of people who can just write about absolutely anything on their blog and after clicking the button, it's out there, done and dealt with.
then there was a while when i didn't know where to put my blog, 'cause you know there's just so many different blogging platforms, so to speak. and everyone uses a different one, and suddenly it's about which friends on which blog hosting site you want to share it with. i just got to the point where i guess it really doesn't matter anyway. i'm not writing this for anyone in particular, it's for myself and anybody who cares to read.
so i'm keeping this blog for me and emichii.
there are some people who write about daily life and so many personal things in their blogs. that's kinda nice, i guess. makes you feel like an elite group when you can read them and understand. i was wondering if maybe i'd keep a personal blog about my personal life, as "me." but then, what if i wanted a somewhat professional or objective record of as me as an artist/writer? what if i wanted to write about writing or drawing or my books or my characters or things that didn't belong in that section of life? i realised that there was way too much overlap between me and "emichii", that i couldn't separate us.
if you don't know who i am, i am me. :)
if you don't know who emichii is, emichii is the artist name i use, for art (duh) and writing.
i am emichii, but emichii is not me.
emichii is included in me, but i am more than just emichii.
everything overlaps. my head is always so full of things outside of what is going on in daily life. i think way too much. i dream way too much. i try way too hard, and for things that other people see as insignificant. i'm always writing and creating, every single moment. i'm not always living where i seem to be, because there's other things on my mind. there are other places i'm imagining, other characters and their lives that i'm creating and their events and their feelings and their problems and their pain. it's so hard to explain to other people that these things and characters do exist, in my head. it's impossible to show them how hard it is to clear out my head and fit in useless formulas and knowledge that is not useful to me. my head is too full. as cliche and pathetically stupid as it sounds, i have a different universe in my head.
at the moment, it's a city.
everything blends together, it's coloured in greys and ballpoint pen blue. sometimes its got the washes of a watercolour painting. the inside of my head is like a city, where i know everything and everyone, but where i also know nothing. it's so full, every area is packed to the limit, it's spilling out. there's too much.
there's too many people to write about, too many characters i have yet to know. there are too many stories that need to be written, too many things that need to be told. too many drawings that want to be put on paper, too many images that i can't recreate. there are stories that weigh so heavy on my heart i don't even know where to start. there are characters that pass back and forth, that communicate with each other, that need to be heard. there are people with their own feelings and thoughts and emotions - how can i do it, how can i possibly put these things into my own words so that they can understand, so that anyone can possibly feel the stories i want to tell?
it's all there, spilling out, ink-flavoured mess. like blueprints that aren't complete, or sketches of unfinished dreams.
this full city in my head.
that's why this blog will be the closest thing to a map. the closest thing to laying it out so that i might be able to understand it a little more.
that's why it's called "sketches from the inside."
its sketches from the inside of my head.
the story i'm writing at the moment is tentatively titled "sketches of a lonely city." for short, i call it "sketches." since it's my current work, obviously it's currently my favourite. but it's also one of the heaviest stories that's weighed in on me. it's a story that really wrote itself, took me by surprise really. there's so much i want to say about it, what i can't fit in within those pages. so, that's where this blog first came from.
i hope to write about the world of "sketches." and the process of making that world happen. all that stuff that comes with being a starving artist and trying to sort out the mess that is my mind.
i guess i'll tell you about where the address of this blog comes from. (that's right, look up there. odd url, yes?) but i'll tell you that next time.
then there was a while when i didn't know where to put my blog, 'cause you know there's just so many different blogging platforms, so to speak. and everyone uses a different one, and suddenly it's about which friends on which blog hosting site you want to share it with. i just got to the point where i guess it really doesn't matter anyway. i'm not writing this for anyone in particular, it's for myself and anybody who cares to read.
so i'm keeping this blog for me and emichii.
there are some people who write about daily life and so many personal things in their blogs. that's kinda nice, i guess. makes you feel like an elite group when you can read them and understand. i was wondering if maybe i'd keep a personal blog about my personal life, as "me." but then, what if i wanted a somewhat professional or objective record of as me as an artist/writer? what if i wanted to write about writing or drawing or my books or my characters or things that didn't belong in that section of life? i realised that there was way too much overlap between me and "emichii", that i couldn't separate us.
if you don't know who i am, i am me. :)
if you don't know who emichii is, emichii is the artist name i use, for art (duh) and writing.
i am emichii, but emichii is not me.
emichii is included in me, but i am more than just emichii.
everything overlaps. my head is always so full of things outside of what is going on in daily life. i think way too much. i dream way too much. i try way too hard, and for things that other people see as insignificant. i'm always writing and creating, every single moment. i'm not always living where i seem to be, because there's other things on my mind. there are other places i'm imagining, other characters and their lives that i'm creating and their events and their feelings and their problems and their pain. it's so hard to explain to other people that these things and characters do exist, in my head. it's impossible to show them how hard it is to clear out my head and fit in useless formulas and knowledge that is not useful to me. my head is too full. as cliche and pathetically stupid as it sounds, i have a different universe in my head.
at the moment, it's a city.
everything blends together, it's coloured in greys and ballpoint pen blue. sometimes its got the washes of a watercolour painting. the inside of my head is like a city, where i know everything and everyone, but where i also know nothing. it's so full, every area is packed to the limit, it's spilling out. there's too much.
there's too many people to write about, too many characters i have yet to know. there are too many stories that need to be written, too many things that need to be told. too many drawings that want to be put on paper, too many images that i can't recreate. there are stories that weigh so heavy on my heart i don't even know where to start. there are characters that pass back and forth, that communicate with each other, that need to be heard. there are people with their own feelings and thoughts and emotions - how can i do it, how can i possibly put these things into my own words so that they can understand, so that anyone can possibly feel the stories i want to tell?
it's all there, spilling out, ink-flavoured mess. like blueprints that aren't complete, or sketches of unfinished dreams.
this full city in my head.
that's why this blog will be the closest thing to a map. the closest thing to laying it out so that i might be able to understand it a little more.
that's why it's called "sketches from the inside."
its sketches from the inside of my head.
the story i'm writing at the moment is tentatively titled "sketches of a lonely city." for short, i call it "sketches." since it's my current work, obviously it's currently my favourite. but it's also one of the heaviest stories that's weighed in on me. it's a story that really wrote itself, took me by surprise really. there's so much i want to say about it, what i can't fit in within those pages. so, that's where this blog first came from.
i hope to write about the world of "sketches." and the process of making that world happen. all that stuff that comes with being a starving artist and trying to sort out the mess that is my mind.
i guess i'll tell you about where the address of this blog comes from. (that's right, look up there. odd url, yes?) but i'll tell you that next time.
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